The Thrift Diving Podcast

Why We Lose Our Creative Spark (And How to Get It Back!) - #147

• Serena Appiah

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I have a confession: I haven't been feeling very creative lately. I've been working on projects behind-the-scenes, but I haven't felt that same creative spark and excitement. I've felt stuck and absorbed in other things, particularly family matters. It made me wonder if you've felt this way at times, too? What can we do to reignite our creativity? Listen in as I share personal stories on why I think we temporarily lose our creativity and how we can try to bring it back.

Want to share your thoughts on this episode or have a question? Email me serena@ thriftdiving.com or on Instagram @ThriftDiving.

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Serena:

Sometimes you just have to give yourself some grace. I think we hold ourselves to really high standards of productivity, right? We know that we're a creative person, so I should be working on this. Regardless of the fact that you might have just lost your job and maybe you're about to lose your home, maybe you're struggling to figure out where the next paycheck is coming from, the last thing that you're going to do is sit down with a piece of furniture and start painting Like it just doesn't. It doesn't make sense. So we have to give ourselves grace for where we are in our life and the things that we're dealing with, and letting ourselves know that, okay, I'm still a creative person. I'm just focused on some other things these fires that need to be put out. We're gonna make it look fly with some DIY. We're gonna make it look fly with some DIY. We're gonna make it look fly with some DIY. Uh-oh, thrift diving. Hey, what's up? It's Serena Pia from thriftdivingcom, which is a do-it-yourself blog, youtube channel and podcast that helps you decorate, improve and maintain your home with paint, power tools and thrift stores without sacrificing your budget, the environment or style.

Serena:

Welcome to episode 147 of the Thrift Diving Podcast, and I realize it has been an entire month and a half since I've posted an episode. What is going on? Well, I will tell you that I was inspired tonight to do an episode about creativity because I realized something so important and I'm going to tell you all about that story and what happened with my friend and why I felt so compelled to get back to podcasting. I know I didn't tell you that I was even taking a break, but I took a break and I was not feeling very creative and so in this episode I'm going to dig in and tell you the stories of why creativity just sort of disappears and what is it that's causing you to be in a creative slump. If you're feeling in a creative slump like I am, what is the cause of that and how do we get out of it? So welcome back to the podcast. I was like I just need to do an episode because I was so inspired and let me just kind of share with you where I've been in the last few months and what's been going on. So if you follow my blog, you'll know that my son had left for college back in July. He did a summer program, a six week summer program, and I was all in my feels about that. So, dealing with that and then just a lot of personal things going on.

Serena:

Now, even though I have all of that going on, I still have been working on some projects behind the scenes, but they have been taking so long because they're not projects that are directly in my control. These are projects that I'll tell you about them in just a moment, but these are projects that I've been doing with other people Because you know, if you've been following thrift diving for any length of time, you'll know that all of my projects, for the most up until this year, have been in my own home, and so when I'm doing my own projects, I have control over when it gets done. If I'm delayed, you know what materials I'm using. All of that is under my discretion. Well, these last two projects, or these most recent projects, I should say these are projects that I have been doing with other people and other people's homes, and when you work with someone in that capacity, you don't really have that much control. You've you're coordinating schedules and you know you're having to travel and it's just a lot more work. So let's talk about what's been going on and why I've not been feeling creative, and I want you to let me know. Send me an email, because I need to know are you feeling this creative slump like I am? I've been in a creative slump, even though I've been working on projects with other people. I've not been feeling this drive to create, and I think I have some answers as for why it happens, and I want you to think about your own life and we're going to talk about, I think, the psychology behind it and where we can maybe try to start pulling ourselves out of this creative slump.

Serena:

So the first project that I've been working on is the bedroom makeover of my friend who, if you remember, back in January I was doing a bathroom makeover with her. This was for bathroom week, so I don't know if you caught this on my YouTube channel. I will leave links down below. But we completely gutted why say gutted? It feels like we got it Her very small bathroom. This was the first project that I'd ever done in somebody else's home. She's been my best friend for about 15 years and the makeover was amazing. She didn't think that we were even going to be able to turn this bathroom into a completely new looking bathroom with just refinishing things. We've finished her tub. We were finished the tile surrounding her tub, we did the floors, we painted, and I had a really great friend who donated a I believe it was a granite countertop so that we could replace the sink, and all of that. So the bathroom came out fantastic.

Serena:

Well, if you remember that video, at the very end she's like Serena, I think I'm ready to work on my bedroom. And I said, okay, I promise you we're going to work on your bedroom. Well, we started her bedroom in June and here to September and we are just getting done her bedroom. I kid you not, we started in June and it wasn't just her and I, it was actually her friend, who is an attorney but who also decided later she wanted to study interior design. So when she realized, oh, we did her bathroom, well, if you do another project, I want to be invited as part of that project.

Serena:

And so we drew her into this bedroom makeover and it's been all three of us trying to recreate this really cozy space, that eclectic, cozy space that my friend Hykema is her name wanted to create. So we've been working on that and because we don't have much time during the week, we've been kind of doing it during weekends and it's. It's taken a really long time. Now don't let that timeline scare you. It should not take that long to do a bedroom makeover. If you were in your own house and doing a bedroom makeover, at the maximum it probably would take you four to six weeks, depending on what you're doing in there. Now, we were not like completely building new built-in bookcases or anything like that, but there was just a lot of work that had to get done and we had limited amount of time. So that's one project that I've been working on.

Serena:

The other project that I've been working on is building a console table with my friend, bj, who is he knows his way around tools, so it wasn't like working with Hikima. Hikima has been a complete newbie. When we did her bathroom, she had never even painted a wall before. So this was kind of a cool project because BJ wanted to build a console table for his wife. He had the insight of okay, I think I know how I want to design this and I know what parts need to come together, but, serena, I need your insight. Like, I think I know how I want to design this and I know what parts need to come together, but, serena, I need your insight, like I don't quite know if I'm going to be on the right path, I think I'm going to have to use a jigsaw. I don't really know how to use a jigsaw, but I can use a table saw. So his experience level was a little bit higher.

Serena:

Now his wife wanted this console table because she went to HomeGoods one day. She saw this console table. That was I don't know how, it was modern, but it was just kind of like a 1970s, looking kind of cool with arches console table. And she said, well, hey, I'm going to buy this, it's $400. And he said, no, no, no, no, don't buy that baby, I can make that for you. So he made this grandiose promise and you know, with his engineering background, he felt like you know what? I can sketch this up, I can do this. And then that's when he called me in to kind of help him.

Serena:

We didn't envision that this was going to be a project where, okay, I'm going to bring my camera, we're going to record it, we're going to paint it, we're going to top coat it. He just thought I was going to come in and just kind of give him some pointers. Or hey, here's how you use the jigsaw to do the arches. It turned into a whole quote unquote production and it was the most fun project I mean. There we are building this thing, trying to piecemeal it together, right? He had sketched out all the parts based on the pictures that his wife took from HomeGoods, and he had a general idea of how it was going to be built. So we went to Home Depot, we got all the materials and then I showed up at his house one day and his wife's like oh, oh, wait, you're going to help him build. Great, because he wants me to. Like hold this, do that. I'm not trying to do any of that. So you guys have at it and let me know how it goes.

Serena:

So we took, I guess, probably the last month really. But again, it's one of those projects where you're working on something in someone else's house, so you're not consistently every day, you know, chipping away at it. So we had to kind of plan out when he was going to be working from home, when I could come and help him and all the parts and pieces. But that project looks amazing and we just finished that. So that was something that was creative and I did feel like I was tapping into my creativity a little bit, but when it came to my own projects, I couldn't really muster up the creativity to move forward with doing my own stuff.

Serena:

After I did the workbench in my she shed which you should see that on my YouTube channel I didn't really feel like there was anything that I personally wanted to work on other than, okay, we started the bedroom makeover, great, we're painting, we're putting some pictures up on the walls, you know, fantastic. But again, those were far and few between because we're coordinating schedules. So all that time in between I didn't feel like I wanted to work on anything in my own house. I didn't feel like I wanted to build anything. I've got a really nice vintage dresser that I moved into my she shed probably about a month ago and it's just been sitting there. I've not wanted to strip it, I was not sure if I wanted to paint it and it's just been sitting there and the creative spark was just wah, wah, wah.

Serena:

So, anyway, let me tell you how I came to this podcast episode, and this is why I like having podcast episodes that are kind of on the fly, because it's something that I'm mulling around in my brain or something that happens that just sparks me. Trust me, this is not how podcasting is supposed to go. You're supposed to have an editorial calendar with maybe interviews lined up. You're supposed to have a schedule. It's not about whether you're inspired to do it, you just sit down and you do it. You work by your schedule. But with this podcast, I really have not operated that way. It's really just kind of been hey, I have this idea or this thing that happened that I just have to talk to you about because it sparks something inside of me. Anyway, that is how it happened tonight.

Serena:

So I go to my friend's house, hakima we're just finishing up this bedroom makeover. But before I get to her house, we're talking on the phone this afternoon and she says the curtain rods came and I got this piece of artwork and that piece of artwork and you know we're ready to hang these curtains. And and I said Well, I've got something that I'm going to bring over to you, some pillows that some brand had sponsored. And she said Well, I got a surprise for you. Well, she didn't really say a surprise for me, but she said she had a surprise. And I'm like what is it? She didn't want to tell me. And I said to her. Well, I've got a surprise for you. She's like what? Okay?

Serena:

So what my surprise was is that I am currently working on a video with a heat press. So there's a company that sent me this really cool heat press. It's a whole kit like an eight in one heat press. Really cool heat press. It's a whole kit like an eight in one heat press. And I was making some t shirts and basically it's just just sort of like an unboxing kind of video and I really like it. It has a. You know, I have a Cricut. I do have the Cricut heat presses that you hold by, you know, by your hand. It's got the timer and all that and they work great. But I was really curious about maybe a more professional heat press. So the company sent it to me. I was making some t shirts and I thought I don't really want to just post t shirts on my YouTube channel, like that's kind of boring.

Serena:

I would like to make a pillow. Well, we're doing this bedroom makeover. I could make a pillow for Hykema. So I went to the craft store, bought some materials and, if you remember her bathroom makeover, we had created some cricket art for the wall and it was a picture of like a silhouette of black, of a black woman with an afro, and she's kind of smiling and she's got these beautiful bright pink lips. This is what Hikima and I had picked out and we thought it was a great pop of color for her bathroom. So I decided, okay, well, I know that she likes that image. Why don't I do that same image on a pillow? And the fabric that I bought was like a denim type fabric, because I know she likes denim, and it was like a black denim, a faded black denim, and I'm going to take some glitter iron on and I'll do that same image on a pillow and we'll do that as part of, you know, the demonstration for this heat press Plus it. You know, you kill two birds with one stone. You're making a pillow testing out this heat press and I'm also making a pillow for her room.

Serena:

So I went there tonight with this pillow in a bag and I was just kind of hiding it behind, you know, the wall and I didn't want to show her what my surprise was. Well, do you know what her surprise was? Her surprise was that she had this easel set up in her bedroom. Now again, her bedroom makeover is not completely done, but she had this easel set up with a piece of art that she was painting. Now let me tell you how amazing this is, because my friend Hakima I've known her for 15 years I have never, ever heard of her creating art. I've never heard her talk about wanting to paint. I've never heard that she had created artwork and painted in the past. It was a part of our relationship that we had never talked about, even though she knew hey, I'm thrift diving, I'm creating art and I'm painting, I'm doing all this. She's never said hey, by the way, serena, I'm creative.

Serena:

And so when I walked into the room and I saw this cool piece of art and she was inspired by this artist. I cannot think of his name, I will have to find it and leave it down in the show notes, but it's a. It's a black artist who had died at 27 of a cocaine overdose. Some of you may know, I think, john Batista or something like that. I will find the exact name and put it down below. She was inspired by his artwork and so she created kind of like a rendition of of what he would have created. And it was so cool.

Serena:

I first of all, not only did. It look good and the colors were great. But the fact that my friend, who I have known for 15 years, felt inspired enough to put up an easel and a canvas and start painting, I told her. I said I am so proud of you Like I couldn't stop telling her I am so proud of you. It made me feel like a mama bear, who I don't want to say I led her to be creative. But this bedroom makeover that that her friend and I that all three of us are doing inspired her to pull out these paints that her sister had gotten her, this set of crafting paints years ago that she had never used, and she was inspired to create this artwork for her wall. I felt so proud of her.

Serena:

You have to understand the history of of Hikima and she and I are going to get on a podcast episode episode soon and talk about her bedroom makeover and all of that. But if you had caught her previous interview that we had done when we were done her bathroom, we talked about it. She talked about confidence issues. She talked about wanting to make a change in her life so that she would tell herself. You know what? I can do that? Because for a lot of a lot of her life. She just didn't feel confident.

Serena:

And the crazy thing is that if you talk to her, if you engage with her, you would never think this is a woman that has confidence issues. This is a woman who self esteem, you know, has taken a hit all of her life due to you know all these different circumstances. You would never even imagine that, because you know, normally when you think about somebody that has confidence issues or self esteem issues, a lot of times they put themselves down, don't they? I'm sure you have somebody in your life that you talk to that you know they have confidence issues and they'll say things like I'm fat, or I'm just not creative, or well, I could never do that. I don't know if I'm smart enough to do that Like these are these self deprecating things that we say to ourselves. She never says those things, but she says them to herself in her mind.

Serena:

So before we started her bedroom makeover, we're actually taking it back further. Before we started her bathroom makeover, she was telling me this was at the beginning of the year, actually a little bit before that that she was starting to change her mindset and telling herself you know what I can do things. I can take on that position. I can take on more responsibility at work, being a project manager. I can do that. And so when I had presented to her hey, we've got this bedroom or bathroom makeover. Do you want to do it? Her first thought was, no, I don't think it's going to work out Like. That's what she wanted to say to me. But she said you know what, serena, I think I can, I think we can do this, let's do it. I'm not feeling confident about it, but I'm trying to move in that direction. So that's what we did.

Serena:

We tackled this bathroom makeover and she's just really took that project by both horns and was like oh, I'm painting walls and I'm scraping floors and I'm doing all this stuff, I can do this. And so it built her confidence. It was this project that added to her confidence bucket. She and I talked about this a lot, about building your confidence bucket and doing things that just adds to that bucket instead of doing things that take away right. So then now we're doing this bedroom makeover. It's been since June. We have painted the walls, we painted the ceilings. She picked out the colors right.

Serena:

So there wasn't a lot of design from my endpoint, but I was the one that was kind of leading it. Well, we were all leading it really I don't want to take credit for that but we were all coordinating this. It really I don't want to take credit for that, but we were all coordinating this and she really started to unleash more of this creativity that she had locked inside of her for years that I had never even witnessed. And so when she showed me this easel with this painting that she's working on, I was so proud of her and I had to. I had to ask her well, where did this come from? So she told me that she was watching some it must have been like an HGTV type show, and there was a woman on there I think it was a realtor who was at some point talking about how she used to paint or something, and Hikima was inspired by this. She's like oh wait, a minute, I used to paint, I'm going to get some canvases, I'm going to pull out the paints, I'm going to work on this painting and it's going to be part of the gallery wall that we're putting over my bed. So we're done. We're about halfway done the gallery wall.

Serena:

We didn't finish that part yet, but listening to this woman talk about how she used to paint. There was something that just snapped inside of her that was like I'm going to start painting again. And she pulled out all these materials and she just started painting. So when I walked into her bedroom tonight and I saw that, I was like are you kidding me? I am so proud of you. Where did this creativity come from? And then she told me about this and I said to her I said, hakima, I want you to understand something you know. Yes, you were inspired by this episode. I want you to think about how you got to this point.

Serena:

It was that bathroom makeover that started unlocking this creativity inside of you, building this confidence inside of you. And then, from there, we went to your bedroom makeover. Right, we painted the walls, you're looking at artwork, you're creating this cozy space for yourself that you've always wanted. Now, if you were to see the before picture and you will see the before pictures of Hakima's bedroom you will understand that in that space, in her bedroom, the way it was, there was no way that she could have gotten to this point of expressing this creativity. There was no way. First of all, there was no space, and when she was surrounded by I don't even know the right word. I don't even want to say clutter, but I guess it was clutter. When she was surrounded by this, it was hard for her to unlock that creativity. Right, the project that we did in her bathroom started to unlock it. But I feel like if we had not gotten to her bedroom, that creativity would not have even been unlocked and I felt proud of her. But I felt like, oh my gosh, this is a real life example of me helping somebody discover that creativity.

Serena:

And even as I talk about it right now, I have goosebumps. I'm not kidding you. I wish that. I wish I was actually recording video, but I'm sitting here in my pajamas. My hair looks crazy. There's no way you can catch me on camera looking like this. But just imagine if you could see me. I have these goosebumps on my arm, because this is my life's purpose, right Create, inspire and teach.

Serena:

And seeing somebody who, for the last 15 years that I have known her, her house has remained the same. She's always talked about things she's wanted to do in her house, but she didn't have the ability to move that forward. And I was able to move that forward with her bathroom makeover and then her friend and I were able to bring that with her on this journey of creating this cozy, beautiful space. Her bedroom looks amazing. We're not done yet. I mean we still have to put the new bed on the new. She's keeping the same bed, but we still have to put the new mattress. We've got sheets coming. She just got her new comforter in the mail that she ordered. So the bedding and all that stuff, all the little fine pieces, haven't been added, but they're there, they're ready to go and we're going to finish it up this week.

Serena:

But I was so inspired by that that it got me thinking about creativity and I'm like I got to record an episode on this and that's how I ended up here, because you know, there's a lot of times when you know I'm thinking about, oh, I should do a podcast episode, and then I think to myself I'm not really inspired, like what is it that I want to talk about? And it got me thinking about something that I've been having offline discussions about, something called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Now, if you are interested in psychology, if you were a psychology major, maybe you took psych 101 when you were in college or psych 100. This wouldn't be new information, right? But I've been pointing this out to a lot of people lately and I feel like this is the framework for how we get stuck in our creativity.

Serena:

I believe there's like five different levels At the bottom of this triangle. The idea is that you have to have your most basic needs met before you can even think about anything else. That comes higher on that triangle, and it's true, right? So the basic foundation of this Maslow's hierarchy of needs, this triangle, is your physiological needs, and part of your physiological needs are the things like breathing and food, water, shelter, clothing, sleep, like. If you don't have these basic needs met, you can't think about anything else as part of this triangle, right? So let's go through the different sections so that you know what they are. So again, these are your physiological needs. That makes up the base. It kind of looks like a food pyramid, right? So you think about the food pyramid. And what did they always teach you in school? Well, your carbohydrates, your breads, pastas. That kind of makes up the bottom.

Serena:

Well, for the Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it's the physiological needs, and then, above that is your safety and security. That's your health, it's your job, your employment, your property, your home, your family, but that's your safety and security, your health, your employment, your property, your family, where you fit in with your friends, and all of that. And then the next level up is love and belonging, and so that's your friendships, your family, your intimacy and your sense of connection with other people, with the world. And then the next level up is your self-esteem so we talked about that with Hikima. That's your confidence, your achievement, your need to be a unique individual and, they say, like, your respect of others. And then self-actualization is at the very tip of this pyramid, and so the things that they have listed there in the Maslow's hierarchy of needs is your morality, your creativity there's that word your spontaneity, your sense of purpose and meaning and inner potential and all that self actualization. So the idea is that you need all of these other things met before you can actually get self-actualization, which is the creativity and the purpose and meaning and all of that good stuff. So let's think about Hikima's example. Right, when I look at this, I think about those conversations that she and I had about self-esteem early on, before we even did the bathroom project. We talked about her confidence level being low and how she was changing her mindset in order to start feeling more confidence and doing things that fill her confidence bucket friendship, family intimacy, sense of connection by us working on these projects together.

Serena:

You have no idea how much connection that Hakeem and I created with doing these two projects her bathroom and then her bedroom. She and I, I told you, we've been friends for 15 years. She is like my sister from another mister right, as the saying goes, but over the last number of years I think we had kind of fallen off a bit. There wasn't any one particular thing. It's just life gets busy and you start losing connection. You go out every now and then, but you're not really hanging out. We all have those friendships that, for whatever reason, start to kind of fade away a little bit.

Serena:

Well, these projects really brought us together. The amount of time it takes to paint walls. You're doing. You know this is like a weekend project and then you're sending text messages back and forth, talking on the doing. You know this is like a weekend project and then you're sending text messages back and forth, talking on the phone, talking about okay, well, what do we need to buy? What bedding did you get? You're creating this sense of connection and that's what those projects did for her and I. It really brought us back together in a way that I don't know if we would have come back together so closely if it hadn't been for these two projects. But when you look at her creativity, how did she get to that point of being able to work on that painting, to start to feel like you know what I can, I can do that. I can get back into painting, because I used to do that when I was younger.

Serena:

All of these things were met for her her physiological needs, right. She's got food, water, her health and safety and we'll talk about this in some upcoming episodes. Hikima has had some scares, having to do biopsies and all of that. She's a breast cancer survivor and I believe she had been diagnosed in 2018. She's been in good health, but this has been a tough year for her and we're going to talk about that. I'm going to invite her onto the podcast for October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I know it's not anything related to thrift diving.

Serena:

I love talking about health. I love talking about being the best that you can be so that, once your health is taken care of and you feel good about your health, you can be creative. Again, it's this whole hierarchy of needs, with her going through some of the things that she went through this year with going to do biopsies and that fear. But once she realized, oh, I'm okay, that was checked off. And then again, as I mentioned, the friendship that we had rediscovered and the sense of connection and then her building her confidence. That is how she got to her creative space.

Serena:

If you are somebody who is dealing with any number of these issues, you're not going to be able to be creative. It's not going to be there for you. And this is what I've been going through. My health is okay, but I feel like I'm kind of stuck in the middle of this pyramid, this Maslow's hierarchy of need, with love and belonging, you know, friendship. I've had some family issues going on. You know there's some intimacy issues going on, a sense of connection issues, and so I've not really been able to move up this pyramid over the last couple of months, and so that's why I've been feeling so stuck. That's why you haven't seen any videos from me, because I am not really in that mood to create, even though I have been working on these two projects. I don't feel that sense of like joy of creating, because I'm stuck further down this Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I feel like I'm so focused on all of those other things that I can't and haven't been able to really get to that top pyramid. So that's kind of where I've been.

Serena:

You know my mom. She has been dealing with health issues and she is someone who's always loved to scrapbook. She's been she. She loves to do puzzles and those kind of things, but in the last year, I mean, her health has really taken a hit. So her physiological needs, her safety and security, these are threatened. And so if you are somebody who is dealing with these kind of issues, how do you be creative? How do you get back to being able to enjoy scrapbooking For me? How do I get back to feeling content, being in my shed painting furniture by myself?

Serena:

I feel like for this year and actually if you remember me talking about goals and stuff last year, at the beginning of 2023, one of the important things that I had said for myself was the three themes that I was focusing on was connection, flow and simplicity. Themes that I was focusing on was connection, flow and simplicity. Those were the three themes and I think the one that took the I would say the precedence was connection. I have enjoyed connecting with my friends, connecting with people that I love, connecting with family, and I think that has taken a lot of my time. The connection that I've been building with other people of my time, the connection that I've been building with other people and sometimes being in my shed working by myself and listening to the Golden Girls, because you know I love the Golden Girls, right, you know I love the Golden Girls and I will tell you also love Family Matters with Steve Urkel. It's one of those shows that you can just put on in the background and it just feels cozy because you know the episode, you know what they're going to say. I've watched it a million times and I will turn on these shows and just enjoy creating by myself.

Serena:

Well, because I'm so focused on creating connections with people, I find myself less and less wanting to work by myself in my shed and it's hard to admit that because I'm someone that's always been very well. I know it's hard to believe this, but I consider myself to be a extroverted introvert. I love interacting with people. I can do it on a stage, I can do it behind a video camera, I can do it in person. But if I have too much interaction I need that time to just just breathe and just regroup and get re-energized.

Serena:

But I find myself lately just wanting to be with other people and talk to other people and connect with them. Even when I'm in like public and I'm walking, or if I'm running or going to a store, I get so much energy out of just even having an interaction with a stranger. It just makes me happy and there's science behind that. So it's not just me. Are you somebody? That's like that too? My kids they think I'm weird, they're like oh, why are you talking to that person? And I say to them because it makes me feel good, I smile, I like connecting with people and so, if you notice this theme that's really taking precedence in my life it's working on the bedroom makeover with Hikima, it's working with my friend BJ on building the console table.

Serena:

I find myself gravitating towards projects that allow me to connect with other people and do different things but have that sense of connection. And so that's the times when I feel most creative and happy is when I'm working with other people. Working by myself, it feels it just feels a little lonely and I think because I'm so focused on connection and intimacy and just having that sense of community that I'm really gravitating towards those projects. But then my own individual projects. I'm like do I really want to be working with my headphones on listening to Dateline podcast, which is what I did and how I got through the? You know, the three months it took took me to wire my entire she shed. That was a very lonesome project. I was not lonely, but to think of doing that right now I don't know if I want to work on those kind of projects. I want to work with other people and I feel like, even as I'm saying this, I'm feeling like that is my truth. I want that connection. I want to do projects that are going to improve other people's lives, because seeing how Hykema has really kind of moved up that hierarchy of needs and being this confident woman and loving the space that she's in this oasis that she's building for herself, that feels really good for me and it feels like I'm actually honoring what my life's purpose is to help people create and inspiring them to do that. So that's kind of what I'm going through and in this episode I didn't want to just talk about why I think creativity can end up in the toilet.

Serena:

I also wanted to talk about some strategies, things that I'm currently using, things that I'm trying to use myself or planning to use. So let's talk about the first one. I think the first suggestion that I have for you and this is what I'm trying to keep in mind for myself is that sometimes you just have to give yourself some grace. I think we hold ourselves to really high standards of productivity, right? We know that we're a creative person, so I should be working on this. Regardless of the fact that you might have just lost your job and maybe you're about to lose your home, maybe you're struggling to figure out where the next paycheck is coming from, the last thing that you're going to do is sit down with a piece of furniture and start painting Like it just doesn't. It doesn't make sense. So we have to give ourselves grace for where we are in our life and the things that we're dealing with, and letting ourselves know that, okay, I'm still a creative person. I'm just focused on some other things, these fires that need to be put out.

Serena:

Another suggestion that may or may not work for you is to try journaling. I have to admit I love, love, love writing. I can sit down at my computer and I can journal for a good two hours. I tell you that because I've done it. There are days when I'm mulling over. Well, this happened. What do I think about that? How do I feel about this? It's like my journal is my own personal therapist, right, like I am my own personal therapist and I get it all out on the pages. And you may or may not be someone who's as prolific with words.

Serena:

I did suggest this to a friend recently who's going through some issues and he's like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that. I don't like to write, I'm not good at it, and I think if that's you, then why don't you try suggestion number three, which is well, you could talk to someone, right, you could try therapy, and I just recently had I don't know. It seems like all the people that are in my life right now. They are very pro-therapy. Not that I've ever been anti-therapy, but I love the idea of talking to someone who is a professional who can give you some feedback and insight.

Serena:

Probably in the spring I had tried, you know, reaching out with a therapist and I tried a few sessions. Didn't really care for him too much Because of some of the suggestions he gave me, I didn't like it. I was like I'm gonna find somebody else and I have not been able to find somebody else. But if you're somebody who feels like you need someone to talk to, journaling just isn't cutting it for you. You're not a writer, you don't have the insight. You really need some professional help. Therapy is always an option you can go to. I believe the site that people have recommended to me is psychologytodaycom, and they have tons of psychologists, therapists on there. I believe they've got psychiatrists as well and you can just email them and see if they accept your insurance. So definitely look into that.

Serena:

But you know, if you're like I don't think I want to do therapy, I think I just need to talk to friends, I can tell you that I have been sending so many messages back and forth with my friend Nakia. She and I met about, I want to say, eight years ago. She's also into thrifting and thrift diving and all of that stuff, and so that's how we met. She was in the creative space of thrift diving and she was a content creator, and so we connected. We kind of fell off for a while, but in the last few months, oh my gosh, we have been sending messages back and forth, audio messages. We don't even talk on the phone. We will send like 10 minute messages and triples have full conversations with each other that we're just listening to as we clean or as we're on the go. Or, you know, as I said in my she shed working on a project or something, I will send messages to her.

Serena:

So you know, you have to find that person that you can open up, to find that person who will listen to you so that you can express yourself and kind of work through that. It is kind of like therapy, but it's a release, and so I would tell you to find that person that you can talk to, like I have. Also, too, there's another app that I like, aside from just sending audio messages through. You know, your messenger service is to try Marco Polo, so that's a video messaging app. I love it. It's a really great way to keep in contact with friends, but it's so convenient because you can just listen when it's convenient. You can send messages when it's convenient. And back to the audio messages. My mom, she you know I won't get into all of the discussion on that, but she's alone for a lot of a lot of the day, and so I even got her started on audio messages so that she has a way to keep in contact with me. That makes her feel like she's got someone there with her during the day. So you know, that is really important. And another idea, like I mentioned with Hikima and BJ, do a project with a friend, if you like being creative, but you know you're kind of missing out on that connection then suggest a room makeover with a friend, or find a project that you can paint together or that you can build together can build together, and it's something shared that you can do together. And so now you've got something that you're focused on outside of all the other issues that you have going on.

Serena:

Another strategy is trying a different hobby. You know it could be that you're just bored with the hobbies that you know how to do, but there's something about learning something new that gives you this spark of joy, of wonder, because now there's this thing that you want to learn how to do and you're researching it and you're excited about this new thing. It probably releases dopamine, right, and that's what makes us happy, that's what allows us to feel good, and when you start something new, when you're trying a new hobby, there's that rush of dopamine. I know that there is because I feel it when I try something new, and I'll tell you about something new that I tried recently that I had no idea was as cool as it is.

Serena:

I went golfing for the first time. Yes, I went on a nine-hole course and did golfing with my friend BJ. So remember the console table that he and I just finished up. We were applying the top coat one day and it needed to dry anyway. So I said, okay, well, we're done, let's go and do golf. We had gone to the driving range twice, so I felt confident in knowing how to swing a golf club. Now would I be able to translate that to a golf course to do nine holes? Let me tell you, the weather was perfect. I guess you could say I didn't do very well, right, like if it was a par four. I was like par eight, par nine. So I didn't really do all that great before.

Serena:

A complete newbie, a complete beginner. I did pretty good and I felt really excited over the prospect of hey, I can get some golf clubs, or maybe not even a whole set, I can buy something new. So I'm not investing too much money into this new thing, that I don't really know how much time I'm going to have to invest in it, but it felt really exciting to try something different and that helped. I think that helped to kind of spark me a little bit and I don't know about sparking my creativity, but it was because I don't know if you would call it a creative hobby I guess probably some people do but it was something interesting, something new that I tried.

Serena:

So if you're kind of bored with some of the hobbies that you're used to doing, try something new. Pick up a new sport, maybe research how to do some knitting, or something that you didn't think could be as cool as it was. I'll tell you, I had thought that golfing was just something that old men did. I had no idea that there are so many young people that are golfing and it's just, it's kind of cool being introduced to a whole new world of something that you you just didn't even know. So maybe that's what you need is to just try something different. Try a new hobby, try a new sport, go to a different place and see how other people are spending their time doing this thing that you thought you knew, but you really had no idea.

Serena:

And the last thing is try not to be motivated by feeling. You know, a lot of times we don't do things because, well, I just don't feel like it. I don't feel like exercising, so I'm not going to go today. I don't feel like being creative, so I'm not going to pull out that piece of furniture or that paintbrush. I don't feel like cutting that wood, so I'm just not going to start that project. And when we operate on how we feel, there's a lot of opportunity that we waste.

Serena:

And I would say and this is what I struggle with as well try to build a habit of the thing that you want to commit to. So for me, exercising is a habit, at the very least. I know that I've got to go for a three mile walk every day. If I don't walk that day, then maybe I'll run. If I don't run, then I've got to lift weights. I've got to do something, because that's the habit that I established for myself. So it's not a matter of I don't really feel like walking today, or the weather is just it's too hot, it's too cold, too rainy, too snowy. I don't let any of those reasons be a reason why I don't go and do this exercise that I know I need to do. And the reason why is because I have created such a habit that it's not even based on my motivation for the day.

Serena:

And I would like to get to that point where, every day, I'm doing something creative, whether I'm painting something, or whether I'm knitting, or maybe I'm just sitting at the computer working on something for SketchUp, maybe creating some plans, project plans for something that I want to do in the future. It's still part of my creativity and I would invite you, like what I'm trying to do is to make it such a habit that every day, it's just being creative, is just part of what you do. And it's hard. Believe me, it's not easy to do and when I look at my exercise journey, it took me. This is 2024. It took me since, I would say, 2021. So it's been three years that it took me to get to this point of having exercise be such a habit that it's not based on whether I feel like doing it.

Serena:

I know that I have to do at a bare minimum. So think of and I'm not just telling you, but I'm going to think of this myself what is the bare minimum of creativity that you could do every single day so that you feel like you're honoring this thing that's important to you, no matter what's going on in your life. There's this part of yourself that you're able to create and that could be, maybe, knitting a few rows If you're a knitter, it could be, you know, opening up a can of paint. And I know that there are physiological things, right, Going back to this Maslow's hierarchy of needs, there's physiological things that you might, Going back to this Maslow's hierarchy of needs, there's physiological things that you might have going on. It's your health that could be really worrying you and depressing you.

Serena:

In the case of my mom, like I said, she loves scrapbooking. Maybe it's a matter of saying you know what, every day I'm going to take out these scrapbooking materials and maybe I'm going to cut out one little scrapbooking thing, and if that's all I can do today, then that's all I can do. But I want to honor this creativity so that it doesn't get lost in this Maslow's hierarchy of need, and that's what I'm going to try to do for myself. And I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what that creativity looks like, but that's our homework and that's your homework. How can you honor your creativity every single day so that it doesn't fall by the wayside when life gets in the way? So that's what I'm going to leave you with and I would love to hear from you Are you struggling with being creative?

Serena:

Are you in a creative slump, like I feel, like I am? Are you someone who is going to do this homework and think how can I honor my creativity every single day? You know, maybe that creativity let me just put this out here Maybe all you have in you is to pull out a, an adult coloring book, and color for 20 minutes, 30 minutes. Maybe that's all you have in you today, but guess what? It's still sparking that creativity inside of you Because you're coloring in the lines. You're seeing this, this ink pen, stroking the, the page, and it's feeling very therapeutic and the color is inspiring you like that is creativity.

Serena:

So let's think of some ways, and I want to hear what they are. Let's think of some ways that we can start bringing more creativity into our life. It could be working on a puzzle and I want to hear what they are. Let's think of some ways that we can start bringing more creativity into our life. It could be working on a puzzle. So I want to hear from you, serena, at thriftdivingcom. Email me or hit me up on thriftdivingcom. You can leave a comment or you can go to Instagram and look me up there at thrift diving and let's talk about how we're going to honor our creativity every single day so that we can find this joy in us and we can continue to honor that and not get stuck.

Serena:

All right, I hope you enjoyed this episode because I enjoyed recording it for you. Please come back again and also pay attention to my YouTube channel this week, because you're going to get to see Hykema's bedroom makeover. You're going to get to see the console table that I built with BJ either this week or next week. And, yeah, I'm always going to have something going on for you, because you know I love creativity, even if I'm not feeling creative in my own projects. Helping other people is what I'm here to do and I can't wait to share those projects with you. All right, I will see you next episode. Hey, hey, thrift diving, find it ugly, make it pretty. Hey, hey, paint that with tools. All right, saving money with those thrift or vibes yeah,